Such Is The Way To The Stars
Lyrics by Ven Pedro
Bleeding Centre Stage
I know what's going to happen, I've seen this play before.
At the denouement you will see me, bleeding centre stage.
And when the lights are off but still warm, before our eyes go wide, I'll
get my chance to cry.
You've got your part down real well, you don't stumble through your lines.
In the last act you will leave me, bleeding centre stage.
When the clothes are off but still warm, before our lies can hide I'll
get my chance to try
Do you ever take off that makeup? Do you ever improvise?
I guess you feel safe always acting, guess I can empathise.
But it doesn't make it better that I always miss my cue.
You can change the props and backdrop but I'll never catch up to you
I don't like this role, I don't like this going through the same old routine
for every act and every scene.
Let me rewrite the script, let me make a happy ending for everyone with
no heartache and no bleeding centre stage.
We could dance around each other, we could dance around forever and never
say a thing. Never say a single thing.
Compensate
I say the wrong thing. I say the wrong thing over again.
I make bad choices. I make bad choices it has to be said.
I don't know, I don't notice everything.
I do the wrong thing, I do the wrong thing every time.
I covet beauty, I covet beauty that's not mine.
I don't know, I don't notice when you cry
I don't care, I don't care enough to try.
I hate decisions, I hate chasing after things.
I love excuses, and I love losing when you win.
You don't know. You don't notice when I'm afraid.
You don't care. You don't care about my mistakes.
It's only a way to compensate
Fairytales and Lovesongs
Sometimes the words wont come. When I'm trying to hard. Beautiful phrases
elude. And I'm left awkward and dreaming.
I've never seen your face. Yet you make me want to believe in fairytales
and lovesongs.
I could run away. Or I could press erase. But I'm intrigued. I need to
see if you are the one for me.
Now my eyes light up, just like a child. I'm crossing off the days until
forever begins. But there is always an if and there is always a how. I'm
just scared that it won't work out.
Trading Time For Chance
All the words I use to hide the dreams.
Why don't you shut up and let it heal.
Trading time for chance works until you find
A scent that makes you think about the past.
But I'm numb, yeah I'm numb
'What ifs' don't help your sanity.
They might seem too much to conceive
Watching my friends dance always makes me smile.
It's the little things that can get me through the days.
But I'm lost, I'm still lost.
All my scars have faded now, closing in not seeping out.
But I wont forget.
Hidden shames that I regret, I admit it makes no sense.
But I cant relent.
Back to One
There are some things I could say but would it really help, to scream
my lungs out, or to smack you in the mouth?
I don't even know why it bothers me so much but I'm seething inside, reading
your mind.
Back to one its not the same I've paid enough for my mistakes. There
is nothing left to give, but you still want to take.
Back to one it seems clear, I should never have let you near.
Theres nothing left to say, but you still want to speak.
There is something you should know before it is too late, you've crossed
the line and no it isn't fine.
I can never look at you in that way again, don't try and pretend, that
we are even friends.
I know I made things hard but stuff like this is never easy.
Don't push cos I'm too tired and I don't have much fight left in me.
Choices
Your fake blue eyes are crying, over choices made long ago.
So now you've woken to the thunder, and realised you are all alone.
I feel sympathetic even thought it isn't deserved.
Cos you adored the aesthetic and turned on those you loved.
Don't ask me for a place to run
Don't ask me why I'm having fun
Don't ask me for a helping hand
Don't ask me if I understand
You settled for last place, are you really surprised?
So you've got your possessions, but you are empty inside
I'm amazed that you're changing but you will never have my trust
This bitterness is fading but that's not nearly enough
I will never hold you like a sister
I will never treat you like my blood
Desideratum
When I think about you, I think of beauty and I think of strength. You've
found some hope within me I never knew I had.
I feel lucky to know you. I feel privileged to call you friend. I will
never forget you, I can promise you that.
One simple gesture is often all it takes, to give someone a memory that
will never fade.
If I die tomorrow but I make you smile today. It might feel like its been
worth it. It just might feel ok.
Sometimes its hard not to sear, sometimes its hard not to scream at the
sky.
So I bite my tongue and swallow the tears that I just can't cry.
You can lead me through. It's selfish but I want you to lead me through.
Sometimes your eyes are all I need.
One Last Throw
I ain't going to judge you, just because you like to wake up sore.
I won't vilify you; I won't label you a fucking whore.
I'm not trying to save you I just don't want to wake up bored.
I won't try and change you; I know you're already torn.
You know I cannot be 'the one' but if you want to have some fun all you
got to do is say.
Your past is pretty jaded but you say its now faded, I'd be lying if I
said it's ok.
I can never sever my heart and being clever, maybe now I'll say a true
line.
There's no point in calling, this friendship is stalling cos I can never
make it on time.
Tell me it's all right my dear or do you want to stop and sear? Shall
we move on to the next show?
Another pretty body, so much for feeling sorry I think it's almost time
to go.
Fake in, fade out, I don't want to see that pout. I've got some immunity.
Cos I quite like the pain you see; sometimes it can make you free. But
mostly it just makes you scream.
Taste my throat, steal my smoke, you already know the answer.
Desperate but disparate let's skip to the last stanza.
They're the breaks you know, they come and they go.
Lets take one last throw.
Charcoals and Grays
I lost you in the crowd, I just turned around to catch a glimpse of scarlet
and then your hand slipped away.
So many faces all the same, etched in charcoals and grays. That's why
I can't stop staring when a colour comes my way.
Maybe its my eyes, they are drawn to violent skies, a flash of light and
danger, a burning spark that doesn't last.
Your eyes like blue so serene and cool. No waves breaking the surface,
no tide to disrupt your calm
Everyone sees differently, Do you have colours in your dreams?
I lost you in the sound I just turned around to hear a note from an angel,
then your hand slipped away.
So many voices all the same etched in bitterness and pain. That's why
I can't stop listening when I hear a note so pure.
Sorry I let go I know its all my fault. But I'm not ready to give up dreaming.
Everyone hears differently. Do you have music in your dreams?
And I'm waking up alone. The colours take a while to drain away.
I'm waking up alone as the echoes of the angels fade away.
I know it's not real, just a stupid ideal. But I can't believe there
is nothing, outside this head of mine.
So hard to explain 'less you feel the same, but I have to keep on searching
'til I'm satisfied I'm wrong.
Everyone breathes differently. Do you have laughter in your dreams?
New Memories
Summer. Ends Here. Free time. Closed sphere.
Distance. Bleak threat. Plagues me. Faiths near.
Times up. Pens down. It's all done.
Coldness. Don't wait. Call me. So Late.
Edged out. Torn through. Pleasure. Inside of you.
You're so. Dead Straight. Hold me. Take ten.
Cut deep. Weak skin. Half-light. Full sin.
Soft hit. Long bite. Bruised up. You are mine.
Don't worry, I'm sober.
Dress the fear in my best clothes. Damaged skies don't give me hope.
I'm over. New Memories.
Tell me stories that I don't know. Fill me up 'til I overflow.
I'm over. Sad Endings.
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